Robot John Mayer paused only once during his performance. A tech, equipped only with a bent paperclip, fixed him in no time.
Steve Jobs: and that's iWork. We picked this lovely retro icon so that your kids wouldn't know what the hell it was. Next year's iPhone will have a rotary phone as an icon. Those cell phone addicted brats won't have a clue.
Steve Jobs: We want a headless iMac! Blah blah blah blah! I want to take off my pants, but we can't all get what we want.
Oh, but you are getting a headless iMac. Does that mean I can lose the pants?
The new Mac mini does not play CDs upside down.
Steve Jobs: It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the riiiiiiggggghhhht!
iPod graphs excite Steve.
Steve Jobs: There's just one more thing.
Shit! God damn childproof cap. I need the yellow ones to do this right! Reality distortion field...fading.
The new iPod Shuffle. The first iPod that will be swallowed as part of a fraternity initiation.
The crowd to get into the exhibit hall was so dense I think I heard someone yell "Back off, you're crushing my Newton!"
ATi snagged a Mac mini before any other vendor. A steady line of mac loyalist lined up to touch it. ATi would later put up a sign reading "No Heavy Petting!"
Stogieman poses with his close personal friend Phil Schiller.
They're getting hitched in Vegas as we speak. Leaked photos of the wedding night coming soon.
When picking up an iPod mini for your sportscar, be sure to get the pink one. That let's everyone know you're secure in your sexuality and that the car isn't an extension of your penis.
If that doesn't work, tell them you're colorblind. No one picks on the handicapped.
Striking that fine balance between geeky and completely losing your street cred.
