(watching)Sean: Woah. I've never seen anyone move like that.
Shasta: That's because we're on a moving boat. And you've been drinking.
Sean: Oh.
Shasta: And, yes, because we're in the matrix.
Sean: I knew it!
I like blue.
Bald Guy (quietly): Ok, you take the light purple one on the right. Bet you $20 I'll be wearing that hat before the sun goes down. Mature ladies can't resist the smooth look.
Karen hoped the boat would dock in the Caribbean soon. She was getting tired of reading the brochure and sniffing nail polish had lost it's luster.
Girl #1: It's horrible!
Girl #2: It's not all that bad.
Girl #1: I'll never land a man with these cellulite knees!
Girl #2: Hey, it's like you've got built-in kneepads!
Girl #1: You're not helping.
Sean prepares for his deep sea dive into dorkdom.
Sean lives out his lifelong dream of beating a little girl up a climbing wall. What can I say, he dreams small.
Jason had the heart of a warrior, the spirit of a shaman, and the bladder of a tit mouse. He excused himself 3 times before finally getting off the ground.
Jason understood that rock climbing was difficult. What he didn't understand was why certain handgrips, upon being touched, played audio of a woman questioning the health of his manhood.
Everyone laughed at the miniature pirates until they proved that they were the perfect height for groin stabbing.
Lora gives us her Hollywood look just before snapping at Billy to bring her a bowl full of red skittles and the charcoal-filtered blood of a virgin woman in a martini glass.
Seagulls and sunsets are required photographic material on Mexican cruises. I looked it up.
The final night on board was 'dance night' for the crew. Or, as Mario liked to call it, 'hoping Anita finally notices him, I mean, this is our 43rd dance together and she should know his name by now" night.
Clive picked up more women with this baked alaska hat than he ever did with that elephant trunk. Feigning a fear of elephants was the best thing that he ever did.