The new iPod Shuffle. The first iPod that will be swallowed as part of a fraternity initiation.
Steve Jobs: This new Sony HDV is amazing. No no, don't stop talking. Just pretend I'm not here. That's it. Oh yeah. Now give me 'pouty'.
Steve surprised everyone by announcing the new Robot John Mayer.
Robot John Mayer paused only once during his performance. A tech, equipped only with a bent paperclip, fixed him in no time.
iPod graphs excite Steve.
Steve Jobs: and that's iWork. We picked this lovely retro icon so that your kids wouldn't know what the hell it was. Next year's iPhone will have a rotary phone as an icon. Those cell phone addicted brats won't have a clue.
Stogieman poses with his close personal friend Phil Schiller.
Steve Jobs: There's just one more thing.
Shit! God damn childproof cap. I need the yellow ones to do this right! Reality distortion field...fading.
Steve Jobs: We want a headless iMac! Blah blah blah blah! I want to take off my pants, but we can't all get what we want.
Oh, but you are getting a headless iMac. Does that mean I can lose the pants?
The new Mac mini does not play CDs upside down.
Steve Jobs: It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the riiiiiiggggghhhht!
The crowd to get into the exhibit hall was so dense I think I heard someone yell "Back off, you're crushing my Newton!"
Stogieman experiences a joy he hasn't felt since he was in junior high and Ms.Federline forgot to wear a bra one cold winter day.
They're getting hitched in Vegas as we speak. Leaked photos of the wedding night coming soon.
Cheerios handles a lot of cash in her madaming business. And she didn't have to explain what 'around the world' was to a new girl before collecting this money.