Steve Jobs (off-screen): And this is what PC Magazine said about my ass after I faxed them a copy of it. That's right, it's tight. Here, I'll bounce a quarter off it just to prove it to you.
It's not water.
Steve wasn't sure why, but the name Isaac suddenly popped into his head.
Steve Jobs: iLife 04 was a beautiful merging of products. Not like when you were in college, and you were trying to convince two women to kiss each other. You deserved that black eye dork.
Steve Jobs (off-screen): Hehehehehe. So my wife...nah, it's too easy. I love this feature.
iPhoto picture alignment - digital correction for when you're finally sober
Steve Jobs: This new Sony HDV is amazing. No no, don't stop talking. Just pretend I'm not here. That's it. Oh yeah. Now give me 'pouty'.
Steve surprised everyone by announcing the new Robot John Mayer.
Robot John Mayer paused only once during his performance. A tech, equipped only with a bent paperclip, fixed him in no time.
The cattle. These dedicated geeks got in line for the keynote around 5am. The rain outside was their shower. So the cattle comment wasn't entirely about waiting in line.
Steve Jobs: and that's iWork. We picked this lovely retro icon so that your kids wouldn't know what the hell it was. Next year's iPhone will have a rotary phone as an icon. Those cell phone addicted brats won't have a clue.
Steve Jobs: We want a headless iMac! Blah blah blah blah! I want to take off my pants, but we can't all get what we want.
Oh, but you are getting a headless iMac. Does that mean I can lose the pants?
The new Mac mini does not play CDs upside down.
Steve Jobs: It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the riiiiiiggggghhhht!
