Steve: Glowy Apple!! Run for it!
Steve: Orange...Green....Blue. These are the colors of the future. Don't let some little jerkoff like purple come along and tell you different.
The future is here.
Steve: Who wants a stylus? Douchebags, that's who.
Steve: This thing has a proximity sensor and a shape detector. So don't even think about approaching it while naked. It'll know.
Fish groping 101.
Steve's previous slide: "The human head weighs 8 pounds, this phone weighs 8 ounces" didn't go over as well.
"So if you're talking to Ives and he's jabbering about design or aesthetics or Jean-Claude Van Damme movies, you can shut off his funny accent by hitting this big red button."
Steve: I call Al whenever I don't know if something is recyclable or not.
[insert joke about increasing number of Starbucks here]
Steve: With our new earbuds, you too can be transformed into Lady Data.
Steve brought Low Pow, a Native American expert in smoke signals, to the stage to explain why they wouldn't be including smoke in this first version of the iPhone.
Sadly, he next brought on Stan Sigman...
...a man who could barely remember the name of his company without looking at his notes.
