Steve hadn't finished going over Apple TV's trailers feature before someone berated him for buying 'National Treasure'.
Billy Zane (internally): I could fit Ben Stiller in my pocket and take him to parties when I want to impress ladies with a funny facial expression. I like this plan.
Steve: Glowy Apple!! Run for it!
Steve: Orange...Green....Blue. These are the colors of the future. Don't let some little jerkoff like purple come along and tell you different.
The future is here.
Steve: Who wants a stylus? Douchebags, that's who.
Steve: This thing has a proximity sensor and a shape detector. So don't even think about approaching it while naked. It'll know.
Fish groping 101.
Steve's previous slide: "The human head weighs 8 pounds, this phone weighs 8 ounces" didn't go over as well.
"So if you're talking to Ives and he's jabbering about design or aesthetics or Jean-Claude Van Damme movies, you can shut off his funny accent by hitting this big red button."
Steve: I call Al whenever I don't know if something is recyclable or not.
[insert joke about increasing number of Starbucks here]
Steve: With our new earbuds, you too can be transformed into Lady Data.
Steve brought Low Pow, a Native American expert in smoke signals, to the stage to explain why they wouldn't be including smoke in this first version of the iPhone.