Billy (internal): Holy shit, I've forgotten my name. Ok, don't panic. I'll just sit here, staring at nothing in particular until someone calls my name. Oops! I've been staring at someone's breasts. Now they're going to call me a "dirty boy" and I'll never know who I really am. This is so depressing.
"You see, the chips, they come together in perfect harmony. A shuffle is like making love. Only with many partners, combining at once."
"Can you please stop talking now?"
Oh yeah, that's the stuff. No no, just sit there and look pretty.
The telephoto lens at the poker table - always inconspicuous.
I gave Shasta $5 to eat this chip. I told her she could smother it in salsa. I'm nice like that.
There was a joke here about "How many men wearing monkey shirts does it take to change a lightbulb?" but we chose not to use it.
Andy's new chips were a highlight of the evening. They were caressed to the point where several people had to ask Andy if his wife minded.
Reduced to a setup in which it is never touched by human hands, the pink mini ponders suicide. Or, at the very least, deleting a few 5 star ranked songs off of itself.
After 6 or 7 "geekgasms", Epson had to start handing out towels with their brochures.
Kid on left: Which button fires the red shell?
Presenter: ..and as these charts clearly show, Microsoft employees love their fucking booze.
Rejected ad campaign slogans:
"Pop your iPod case cherry!"
"We gave birth to pastel fashion."
"Buying this case will make you feel like our fashion models are constantly licking your nether regions just like this raspberry! *offer void once the next case version is released*."
When Calvin started thrusting with two fingers, his girlfriend yanked him from the booth by his ear.
Scared yet? You will be.
