The crowd behind me waiting in line for the keynote. Waldo, apparently tired of always being "found", starts on his campaign to photograph every human on earth.
I had to stand next to this for an hour and a half. And yes, it was rotating the entire time. Someone said that MSN butterfly was stuck inside. That cheered us up a bit.
The line in front of me. That means these people got up earlier than 6:40am to stand in line. Well, or they got up at 7 and didn't shower. And I'm not putting that past anybody there.
(using nightvision feature)
Before the lights on the stage come up, Steve Jobs likes to run around the stage without any pants.
(displaying the byproduct of his new Gigantor Ray)Steve: You should see this thing's appetite! Oooh boy, nothing perks you up in the morning like a 80ft tall man biting off the limbs of your neighbor's trumpet playing live-in mother-in-law.
Steve: ...and I thought, bam! Airbags. But Phil hated it. And my wife said something about a breast obsession. But shit, I'm the king!
The sleeve to a new snowboarding jacket that allows you to control your iPod. Press all the buttons together and it emits a high pitched squeel, summoning an avalanche to sweep away your sorrows.
Steve: ..and these are the first strike MS targets. Nuclear weapons will be fired within the hour. Don't worry folks, we're not downwind.
Apple has developed Safari: an application that shows you which way is due north, and how to use that to find the door to your house and get outside for some fresh air away from the sweet sweet internet.
The 4 iApps from Apple: iPhoto, iTunes, iFigureSkating, and iDVD.
Steve: My boxers are the same pattern. Wanna see?
The Ken Burns Effect adds a little girl in a red jacket to every project. Ken Burns has a lot of kids and he wants you to adopt them. See how cute they are? They can take out the trash, do your dishes, even shovel snow off your driveway.
Phil Schiller spots an audience member with a 12" subway sandwich. The next few moments would be bloody indeed.
Steve wishes he had a podium to hide his throbbing erection.
Steve: What the fuck is this? I give up. I use Linux at home for Christ's sake.