Andy and Steve had conquered their own bowels. Congratulations.
Steve was the lord of the log-dance. At least until he fell off into the fire, horribly disfiguring his face. No one would pay to see him dance after that.
Tobin was lookin' to make some smores. Jen had the graham crackers. There was only one option. It was time to rumble.
Melissa laughed politely as Paka explained how he invented fire during recess in the fourth grade. Melissa knew full well that Alexander Graham Cracker Bell invented fire in 1492.
It wasn't that Tobin was always doing something suspicious, it was that if he didn't make that face, his fanclub would disband and he'd lose all those monthly dues as revenue.
Steve (to himself): Must not laugh at dangling wiener, must not laugh at dangling wiener....
Alex regrets ever asking Tobin where he was hiding that salami meat this whole time.
Those matte paintings just keep getting bigger and bigger.
Birds tried to steal our lunch on numerous occasions the third day of our trip. So we killed a bird, stuffed it with regular cheerios (not honey-nut. we're not monsters), and placed it back on a branch. We could think of no better warning to future flocks.
Andy (to himself): Must not grab Steve's ankles and dangle him over crevice, must not....
Paka had never seen chipmunk testicles that big before.
The makeshift sign promising an escalator all the way up was a lie. You actually have to HIKE the whole thing! What nerve.
Right in the middle of an actual argument about directions, Alex and I document the scene, just in case we're asked about it in court sometime later.
This waterfall didn't have a "if you fall, you WILL die" sign near it. We were pretty sure that meant it was safe. The parachute we had made out of trashbags and candy wrappers would finally get some use.
